Is there "More to Love"?

After the end of "The Bachelorette" last night, I need to fill the reality-show void that is Tuesday night. So, I decided to watch the new show "More to Love". In case you haven't seen the previews, the premise is a larger than life bachelor will have his pick of 20 big, beautiful women. This idea makes me indignant to the point that I must tune in! After watching the show, I decided to share my thoughts on the good and bad:

Good:

Only one hour long. It is excruciating to sit through two hours of The Bachelor and Bachelorette without the DVR due to the empty conversations and even emptier heads.

Gorgeous diamond rings are given out instead of cheesy roses.

The women do for the most point seem to have some substance, although all the ones our BBB (Big beautiful bachelor) asked for a kiss caved immediately. Hold something back ladies! Yes, this "relationship" is moving at warp speed, but you don't have to give all the goodies out tonight.

Requisite drunken Bachelor behavior, a la evening gown pool diving, name calling ( I guess "otter" is a name), and drinking just a wee bit too much. Oh, and cheesy attention getting stunts, like dancing lessons. Although, no singing, which is a big plus.

Now for the questionable:

Why, oh why, do they have to show everyone's height and weight next to their name at all times? We get that the ladies are large. We get it. These poor girls have put themselves WAY out there on reality t.v., can you cut them a break?

The BBB is kind of smarmy, like he can't believe his luck that these BBW's (Big beautiful women) are actually fawning all over him.

The girls have NO self-esteem. None. Not even a smidgen. Even the ones that proclaim they do say things like, "I've never had a relationship" "This is my last chance for love" etc. These girls are pretty! They have jobs. They have (some) brains. This is not the last chance for love. They need to bring 19 other BBB's on board and get these ladies some dates.

75% of the women cried in their intros. This made me feel so bad for them, that it was excruciating when some were sent home.

To sum up, if a show wants to really be realistic, they should have one average size bachelor with women of all shapes and sizes. That would really be something. I truly believe women are beautiful in all forms, and the skinny, big-boob ideal that prevails in Hollywood only exists to make the rest of us feel bad about ourselves on a daily basis. BUT, I think it is slightly misogynistic and mean to parade these women as sad sacks with their weights next to their name. Maybe it will get better...

My first baby

My little boy turned three yesterday...which has me more than a little sad. Instead of pacifiers and diapers, now everywhere I turn there are trains, matchbox cars, Disney movies, and a whole new three-year old attitude.

Three years ago...
My husband and I had only been married six months (do the math, it was a "shotgun" wedding as they say here in Texas) and were very scared at how our lives were changing so rapidly. We went from dating to parenthood in what now seems like the blink of an eye. The baby was a week overdue, and my mood was pretty grouchy as a consequence of that. The doctors scheduled me to be induced the next morning, which I was vehemently against but felt like there was no other option. That night we went to The River Pub and Grill in San Marcos to eat, and on the way home, I felt like I had eaten too many fish tacos! Later that night, I decided that yes, I was really in labor, and it was getting worse all the time. Bret drove quick as lightning up to Austin, where my hospital was, (45 minutes away), but it was NOT quick enough for me. When we arrived, after 1 in the morning, they found out I was already 7 centimeters dilated. For those of you who haven't given birth, that meant only 3 more centimeters to go. I FINALLY got an epidural, only to have to push 10 minutes later. 3 hours later, after a lot of work, Grayson arrived in the world. I will never forget what it was like to hold my son in my arms, who only moments before, was completely part of me. I was so scared, I couldn't even change his first diaper. He was so small and perfect, and mine, and I felt a shift in my entire being that changed the way thought, loved, and existed. I love my family, I love my husband, but the instant he was born, I knew that I would give my life for my son.

It seems like the last three years have gone by too quickly. I try not to get upset that my babies are growing up and independent faster than I want them to, and instead try to cherish each new step and accomplishment they make. Memories of the last three years whirl through my head when I look at my Grayson...
grabbing his toes and sucking on them at 5 months, saying dada first, snuggling with him at my breast, sleeping on daddy's chest, crawling around the island in the kitchen, calling for me from his crib, singing "Beautiful boy" to him every night as he went to sleep, walking, then running, 1 to 2 going by in a flash, now he is a preschooler, who will go to school in two short years. I'm so glad that he's mine.

Post-Nursing Depression!

Well, after nine months of exclusively nursing Eleanor, she is ready to stop! She, not necessarily me! I would happily go on to the year mark, but she is only nursing a few minutes at a time, then gets distracted, then is hungry later. So, I think it is time to wean. This process is making me hormonal, emotional, and a wee bit depressed. Actually, really depressed. This (most likely) will be my last baby, and the special bond that we have together is coming to an end. I feel proud and lucky that I did get to nurse her this long, and if you have tried breastfeeding, you know it is not always easy.



I wanted to share several things that made nursing her easier and more comfortable. Maybe I can help moms-to-be or future mommies out! Lord, don't we need all the help we can get!

1. Boppy pillow: you must have this. I don't know how women have nursed babies through eons of time without this pillow.
2. Soothies: they may give you these in the hospital, but if not you can purchase them at CVS. They are gel pads that help you get over the initial soreness. They are miracles!
3. Lansinoh Lanolin: I used this about a month before the baby was born to "condition" and after for several months every time I took a shower.
4. Bravado nursing bras: This is the best $45 I've ever spent! They have support, but no underwire (which is a no-no for nursing because it can constrict milk ducts), light shaping pads that are removable, easy-to-do clasps and cups that come all the way away from the breast for easy feeding. I bought two and they blew every other bra I had out of the water! They are available at maternity specialty stores, but also at Target.com.
5. Medela Electric Double Breast pump: There are a couple of styles, but I bought the freestyle pump. This thing is magic. It allows you to pump all the milk you need to, no problem. If I had been working full time, I still would have breastfed because I had this marvelous pump. It helped me through engorgement, working part time, and any time I had to be away from the baby at all. A suggestion: if you purchase any pump, purchase one through your hospital's lactation department instead of a chain store. You will not only support a much needed service, but if you have any problems at all they can give you customer support, which a retail store can't.

A few words of advice concerning breastfeeding:

It is MUCH harder at the start than you could ever imagine. Try not to get discouraged. Even if you plan to go back to work right away, you can breastfeed in some capacity, even if you have to supplement with formula. If you "power through" the first few weeks, it will become infinitely easier. The first six weeks are full of engorgement, leaking milk, erratic schedules, tears on both sides, and definitely sleepless nights. Not a lot of fun, but if you make it past that, it gets so MUCH easier. After a few months, 3-4, your breasts do not fluctuate as much, you don't have to wear breast pads anymore, and your life approximates normal once again. Also, if breastfeeding doesn't work, or you can't do it anymore, don't feel guilty. As long as you gave it a chance, your baby will still get the nourishment they need from formula just fine.

I cry a lot because I will miss my baby snuggling up next to me (and probably because my hormones are out of whack right now, too). I feel like I'm giving up something precious, but I guess all babies have to "grow up" sometime. I wish they didn't do it so fast, though.

Skinceuticals back online!

If you read my previous post, I stated that you couldn't buy Skinceuticals online anymore. Well, they are back! On www.dermstore.com, I found out today. Yippee!

Better Skin Part 1: Cleansing, or All Hail the Clarisonic!

Every month I get numerous magazines, from Glamour to Allure, to trade magazines that all contain articles on how to have great skin.

This is the first in a series of posts on my tips for better skin, compiled from a bevy of sources - professional, personal, literature, and good old trial and error!

Cleansing

Thoroughly removing your makeup and preparing it for skin care products is the most important step. You will not believe how many people I see who are not cleansing their skin optimally!

First, the method:
At the very least, use a washcloth to remove your makeup and cleanser. If you just splash your face, you are only pushing debris and makeup to the outside edges of your face. A washcloth, ideally a baby washcloth, is an absolute must. If you are acne prone, use a separate towel for your face from your hand towel. Imagine the bacteria that collects on a hand towel!
Studies have shown that the average woman cleanses her face for 20 seconds a DAY. This is not nearly enough to remove the makeup, oil, sweat, and environmental pollutants that have accumulated on your skin for the last 12 + hours.
Work the cleanser into your skin for at least 1 minute, allow to sit for 10-15 seconds, then rinse. This allows the cleanser to fully emulsify the makeup you are wearing.
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use an overly abrasive cleanser or item to cleanse your face. No Buf-Pufs, please! These only cause microscopic tears in your epidermis, which not only allow bacteria to grow, but also lead to inflammation, broken capillaries, and over-sensitized skin. A client once told me she used the GREEN SCRUBBERS THAT YOU USE ON DISHES to cleanse her face! NOT recommended!
I DO recommend the Clarisonic skin care brush. This is the best gift I have ever received, I mean it ranks right up there with my engagement ring in terms of how much I love it! While expensive, you will use it everyday without fail! The Clarisonic uses sonic technology to vibrate the brush, instead of the old-fashioned rotary kind that turn. The Clarisonic actually vibrates every last molecule of makeup off! This has revolutionized cleansing. I only thought I was washing my face before. I have used it for over a year and a half now, and I have a dramatic reduction in breakouts and blackheads. I use it once a day, to remove my makeup at night.
But, if you can't fork out the $195 right now, please go buy a $3 pack of baby washcloths for me.

Second, the means of cleansing:
A good cleanser is truly hard to find. My requirements are:

1. Gentle, not stripping. Your face should feel soft, not tight or itchy after cleansing.
2. Free of any abrasive materials, such as nut pieces, etc. No St. Ives Apricot Scrub! This will also cause microscopic tears in your epidermis. I do like and appreciate several exfoliants, which I will discuss in a later post.
3. Ideally free of superfluous fragrance and some counter-irritants, like peppermint or menthol.
4. In most cases, have no benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid, or pricey ingredients. These things just get washed down the sink, and are not in contact with your skin long enough to have any effect!

I have found that exceptional cleansers transcend skin type, i.e. they should suit normal to oily types. However, super sensitive and extra-dry types will benefit from a formula suited to them.

Here are my favorite cleansers that I have tried and used with success:

• La Roche Posay Toleriane Purifying Foaming Creme Cleanser (whew, that's a mouthful!): This is the BEST cleanser that I have ever used, it completely melts away makeup and is great for normal, combination or oily types, even sensitive. $18-20, it is mainly found online, at dermstore.com or drugstore.com
• CeraVe Cleanser: Best for normal/dry types. Has a moisturizing ingredient that stays behind after the cleanser is washed off. I have only found this at CVS.
• Cetaphil cleanser: Best for sensitive types, who do not wear a lot of makeup. This will not remove makeup to my satisfaction, but if you are a natural girl, this is a good one. At all drugstores.
• A-Cute Derm Pro-C gel cleanser: perfect for normal to oily, removes makeup well. While it does include antioxidants, the price point is so reasonable, it's not a big deal. Tell me if you'd like to try it!
• Skinceuticals Clarifying cleanser: this does have a small amount of salicylic acid included, but the main reason I like it is because it cleans without stripping, which is rare for a blemish-targeted cleanser. Recommended only if you have active breakouts. You can't buy Skinceuticals online anymore, which is a bummer, but several spas and dermatologists carry it.
• A goodie that's cheapie: pHisoDerm Deep Cleaning cleanser (for normal and sensitive types): This is usually under $5!!! but it is tricky to find - recently I found it at HEB, and they actually had pHisoDerm for babies in the baby aisle. This is an awesome product if your little one gets dry patches, eczema, or baby acne.

The bottom line here: gentle, thorough makeup removal is the MOST important step if you want clear, smooth skin.

My daily cleansing routine goes like this:

A.M. Eminence Sweet Red Rose Cleanser (not mentioned above because it does have essential oils, so this is a personal fave, not one I'd recommend to all of you)

P.M. A-Cute Derm makeup removal pads first, then A-Cute Derm Pro-C cleanser or CeraVe coupled with my Clarisonic. Sometimes I use the A-Cute Derm cleansing lotion in between those steps, and I love using the La Roche Posay when I can afford it!

Swim Lessons + Misbehaving Toddler = Embarrassment

I find that when I go out in public with my children, I am in a constant state of mild embarrassment, which sometimes escalates into full on shame. It is not that I don't love my children, or that I'm not extremely proud of them, (which I do and I am), it's that my toddler loves to push my buttons for all the world to see.

Please view suspect at left.

Case #1: Today. Swimming Lessons. Mr. Andrew (teacher) takes one child off of the underwater platform at a time to teach, while the other 5 play with toys and swim. In thirty minutes, Grayson manages to: constantly throw the toys into the deeper water so Mr. Andrew has to get them, gets mad and throws the diving ring into the innocent audience of parents watching their well-behaved children (twice), refuses to come out when I tell him, scoots juuuussst out of my reach in the water so I can't nab him and yank him out, and gets into a skirmish with another boy over a diving ring that involves pushing and grabbing. All the while I am mortified and under the watchful stares of other parents. After the lesson I talk with him and he apologizes to both Mr. Andrew and the diving ring boy. The boys hug and all is well, but my face is still red and not only from the 100 degree heat.

Case #2: Several weeks ago. Shopping. Victoria's Secret dressing room. Hushed and quiet as innocent shoppers try on various undergarments. Me trying on a bra. Grayson continuously trying to open the door so everyone can view his half-naked mother, and also trying to push the call button non-stop. I yank him down back into the stroller none too gently, to which he responds, "DON'T SQUEEZE ME LIKE THAT!" at the top of his lungs. Then in a silent, shame-filled fury, I tap his mouth and tell him to be quiet. "DON'T SMACK ME LIKE THAT!" at a thundering decibel range. Exit quickly, no bras purchased. Then, twenty minutes later, he throws up all over the table in the food court.

I love my son. And I also know it's only a matter of time before my angelic baby daughter starts a whole new round of embarrassing outings!

Look for Case #3: McDonald's play land potty accident / subsequent streaking in another post!

Mineral Foundation Musings During Naptime

Naptime is a most sacred time of day, perhaps the only hour- to two-hour long stretch where my thoughts are uninterrupted. I choose to take this time and ponder the ubiquitous mineral makeup craze...

I have decided, after 15 years of wearing makeup, that I am a true mineral-makeup convert. Quality mineral makeup can have great benefits for your skin -

1. Breathable coverage - very important if your skin produces any oil at all during the day
2. Less settling into pores - the nature of the powder allows it to sit on top of pores instead of pooling in them like a liquid foundation
3. Less contact with parabens, talc, and other undesirable cosmetic ingredients - however, beware the drugstore "mineral" makeup as they almost always contain talc. (The only exception I have found is Neutrogena)
4. Zinc oxide is a very effective ingredient for blemish prone skin types
5. The sunscreen is a definite bonus

There are some caveats I must include for those not familiar with mineral makeup, however...

1. If you have combination or oily skin, you must, must use some sort of primer before you apply the powder. I have religiously used three: Laura Mercier Oil-Free Primer, Per-fekt Gel and Tarte Clean Slate. I felt the Laura Mercier primer was more akin to a light moisturizer and did not have that "smoothing" feeling that I want in a primer. As it was fairly expensive, I would advise you to pass on it. Per-fekt Skin Perfection Gel is wonderful and also includes much-needed antioxidants, but it is on the pricey side as well and I like it more when I'm feeling dry or need to wear makeup for a special occasion. Tarte Clean Slate is my current favorite, it has the silicone (dimethicone) needed to smooth, is a fairly natural product, and rings up at the lowest price point of the three.
2. It will take some practice to get the application technique right. If you've seen the "swirl, tap, and buff" infomercials, do not be fooled! It is not that easy! The best tricks I've learned so far: Pour a small amount of product in the lid, then swirl your brush around until the product disappears into the brush, then lightly move the brush in circles around your face, beginning with the areas that need the most coverage. BUILD coverage as you need it, do not dump a lot of product into the brush at once. It is very easy to overdo it with loose powder makeup. Also, the better quality brush you use, the better results you'll have.
3. These products will not solve your skin care woes as the advertising claims. Makeup is makeup. You must wash it off completely at night (no such thing as so pure you're able to sleep in it, believe me), and you do have to use concealer for persistent blemishes and undereye circles.

I have used the following mineral foundations:

Neutrogena: The messy application brush included did nothing to make me love this product.

GloMinerals: This is the makeup line of the Glo Skincare Company, which is in the Cellex-C family (Caleel Hayden). I found the makeup to be pricey and to have too much of the "chalky" appearance that looks unnatural. The only benefit to this line is that the foundation comes in pressed and loose forms.

Laura Mercier: Very good, probably the best of the department store brands. You receive a generous amount, but you do pay for it. The colors are awesome for fair to medium skin, but forget it if you are darker.

Clinique Almost Makeup SPF 15 powder: This was advertised as better than minerals, but I found it to be just another pressed powder, pretty standard Clinique fare. I also found the color matching to be difficult. It did not convert me back to Clinique by any means.

Bare Minerals by Bare Escentuals: This is my #2 pick. The shade range is great, the only quibble I have is that they tend to be shiny, due to the amount of mica that is included in the ingredients. HOWEVER, they are soon coming out with a BE Matte line which sounds promising!

Jane Iredale Amazing Base Loose Powder: This is my #1. Beautifully skin-matching shades, and I love, love, love the other cosmetic products they have to offer as well. My only gripe is that the price points are high, nearly twice Bare Minerals.

Bottom line: In this economy, I think I will go back to Bare Minerals for awhile. At $25 for a 3-6 month supply of foundation, it really is reasonable. I'm sure my hardworking husband will appreciate that!

With two small children, I'm lucky I get five minutes each morning to do my makeup. If I do get the chance, it makes me feel so much better about myself all day, even if the only people dazzled by my glamour are 9 months old, 3 years old, and of the feline and canine species. (And oh, yes, my wonderful husband!)

Last note: No makeup, liquid or powder, will give you sufficient sunscreen throughout these Texas summers! Please use a moisturizer that has sunscreen (I like Eminence Tomato Sun Cream, A-cute Derm SPF 20, or Skinceuticals Physical SPF 30 for swimming days)