I have just read that the Duggars are expecting their 19th child, according to Today online. If you do not have cable television, the Duggars are an Arkansas family that have their own TLC show based upon the amazing fact that they have 18 biological children. All of these children are the offspring of JimBob and Michelle Duggar - and she gave birth to all of them! Yikes!
The Duggars constantly have detractors in the media, people who usually say one of the following things -
The Duggars are religious freaks who need to use birth control, they are a strain on the overpopulated planet, they don't take care of their children properly, they are weirdos, the children are robots, etc. etc. etc.
Well, the Duggars are not cut of the same cloth as "Jon and Kate plus Eight" - there are no salacious scandals and paparazzi shots of JimBob Duggar canoodling with a coke-sniffing mistress. This is a geniunely good, wholesome, family who really have it together in many ways. I admire the following things about the Duggar brood:
Their religious views, while somewhat purist for my tastes, are believed and upheld. I am not particularly religious - I believe it's okay to be who you want to be, I believe in evolution, and sex before marriage, to name a few things. But the Duggars don't, and that's o.k. They are not hypocrites, and they definitely get the core values of Christian charity and love for others right. So let them believe what they want to - this is America after all!
I think it's O.K. that the older children have responsibilities and take care of younger ones. I took care of my (13 years younger) brother quite a bit. Making them do chores and help with the family prepares them for REAL life. These kids do not leave their clothes all over the floor, dishes on the table, towels in the tub, and expect $40 bucks to go the mall. (some of these are crimes of the aforementioned little brother)
The Duggars try to be "green" even though their huge motor bus gets 6 MPG. They make their own soap, grow a lot of their vegetables, and reuse everything. They get their clothes from thrift stores (so the show says), do their own haircuts, and many more things. I hope to GOD they recycle and use cloth diapers because the trash alone would fill a landfill! But we should all try to be so thrifty and waste less.
I like that the girls have long hair and wear modest clothes. Skirts all the time is a bit much, but I cringe when I see an 11 year old walk through the mall with her butt cheeks hanging out and a pound of makeup on her face. And I swear, some outfits I've looked at for Ellie have infant crop tops and hot pants. I'm not kidding.
The Duggar kids don't watch much television, and that could be good. Grayson mostly watches preschool shows and movies, but he has picked up enough "grown up" TV to know how swear words are used and to "shoot" at us all the time even though he has not a single toy gun. Hmmmmm....maybe TV does rot our brain and ruin the children.
A little healthy fear can go a long way for a kid. Some people have said that the Duggar kids act well behaved most of the time because the parents have taught them to be afraid of God. I don't really believe this is the case. I was "afraid" of misbehaving when I was little because I didn't want God and my mother to be mad at me. I tell you, Grayson is not afraid of either one! How can I make him fear me just a little bit?
I think Michelle should have as many babies as she wants. The Duggars take care of all of their children financially. They are not asking for handouts or welfare and have worked hard I'm sure to live the debt-free life they show on TV. In this age of modern medicine, she can successfully have so many pregnancies. They are not morally opposed to birth control, they have stated that she used it at the beginning of their marriage and decided to then have as "many children as God blessed them with". So that is her choice. This situation is not akin to the polygamist Mormon situations where a mother is to be "worn out in childbirth", having twenty (yes, I have read of twenty) children that a part-time patriarch cannot afford to take care of, and no real access to quality medical care. Michelle has her children in a hospital, and she seems healthy and fine to her doctor on the show. If I could afford it, I'd like to have a couple more babies myself!
One of the things I don't like is the emphasis on the girls to grow up and be good housewives. These girls, while definitely self-sufficient, should be encouraged to follow their dreams. But on the other side, the Duggars are very pragmatic and the children know they will have to grow up and work hard. I cannot say the same for a lot of young people I know who think they are going to grow up and automatically make 200,000 dollars a year.
I'm also not that keen on the homeschooling that Michelle gives all the kids. I am a firm believer in the public school system and the power of secular teaching. As a child I went to both a Christian private school and a public school, and while the children were generally sweeter at the private school, the curriculum was much more stimulating, educational, and challenging in the public schools. Plus, I was not as scared that God would smite me if I talked in class. Just kidding!
I'm also a little wary of the rules on dating. Apparently, there is no kissing (and most definitely no anything else) before MARRIAGE. I think it takes a little more than a shared attraction and mutual faith to make a lasting, happy, marriage. But at least they get to (sort of) date - a chaperone is present at all times. Also, a healthy sexual drive is part of being an adolescent and young adult. But I guess if you get married when you're 20 that's not so much you're missing out on! I can say that when I got married, I had regrets about some of those frogs I kissed (and sometimes more than kissed) before I found my husband. But maybe those actions led me to him? Or made me aware and ready when I found my life partner? I guess it would have been neat to experience all the wonderful things about a sexual relationship for the first time with my husband, but that is a lofty goal. And I also bet none of the Duggar kids will wait until they are 25 and 31 to get married like we did! Wink, wink!
So to sum up, go, Duggars, go! Have as many kids as you want. I can't wait to see how many grandkids come out of this bunch.
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