High School Nostalgia

I can't believe it has been nearly a month since I posted, I guess these past few weeks have been crazy. I am trying to get used to working an additional two days a week. I love working, I think I just take WAY too much on myself at home - i.e. housework, laundry, cooking, etc. Bret is also getting used to me coming home at 7:00, and there have been several frustrated nights where dad and kids are at the end of their ropes when I get home. Nearly all of my friends who are mothers work full time as well and I absolutely do not see how they do it. (Conversely, they probably don't see how I stay home three days a week, either, I'm sure)

The last exciting thing we did was go to my ten-year high school reunion (Go Berkner Rams '99!). We drove up to Dallas on a Thursday to see my little brother play football on the Junior Varsity team, but that game got rained out due to a wet field. So that was disappointing, but a little relieving after a four hour car trip. The next day we went to the pep rally at my old high school, which was surreal. The band was still warming up to the same tunes, the drumline played the same cadences, and the Bandoleras were dancing up a storm. (For those of you who didn't go to Berkner High School, the Bandos are the drill team) In high school, I was captain of the Color Guard and it was so neat to see the band perform at the halftime show at the Homecoming game. I was filled with a sense of pride and also a little feeling of wistfulness as I watched them perform. I am so grateful I got to do that for three years and have those memories and experiences. However, many things have changed in ten years: there was a lot of booty-dancing at the pep rally that we didn't even know about ten years ago, Berkner has a stomp team and a hip hop team, the Color Guard wore semi-skimpy dance outfits that we would never have been allowed to wear (until 97 they wore dresses that looked like a marching band uniform with a prairie skirt!), and a third-trimester pregnant freshman was nominated for Homecoming Lady. In '99 they still sent the poor pregnant teens to a special school! My mild disapproval of many teenage antics made me realize I am nearly 30, and not seventeen anymore!

After that, we went to my reunion which was held in downtown Dallas. The main thing I realized is that everyone pretty much looked the same. I fell right into friendship with my old buddies Jenny and Terri, while others were a little more awkward. The pretty/ handsome people were still so, nobody got really fat or ugly! One friend of mine joked that those that did probably didn't come, and he may be right. The disappointing things is that I would have like to have more activities (none really planned due to a laissez-faire class president) such as a job/family update, superlative update, etc; and there were a lot of people that I wish would have come - I'll list you here to tell you I missed you: Afsheen, Eugene, Pearl, Meredith, David, Joyuan, Becky, Lee, Christine and probably many more that I haven't seen in so long. All in all it was a fun night and I learned a few important lessons : I will try to keep in better touch with those I was close to, I am happy with my life so far and very blessed with my little family, and three glasses of wine is a lot for someone who hasn't seriously drank in over 18 months!

Recent happenings...

I feel like it has been a while since I posted, but it has been a busy few weeks! Several things have happened in the Williams household...

Grayson started Mother's Day Out Preschool (MDOCP) the last week of August. The week before that, we all volunteered to help watch the teacher's children so they could prepare their lessons and classrooms for the school year. Grayson, Ellie and I trooped to MDOCP every day for a week from 8-3. I was in the infant room with Ellie-bean and several other babies. The babies changed day to day, but I had 5 month old twins, a 9 month old, and a 13 month old through that time. A baby circus! It was a positive experience, and I came away from it more confident in my mothering and multi-tasking skills and $200 richer! The only downside was Ellie's constant attachment issues and her SCREAMING if I took two steps away from her during that time. Oh, I hope she grows out of this "phase"!

After that week, Grayson started MDOCP two days a week, Monday and Wednesday. This has been great for him, he seems to really enjoy "school". And Ellie and I have such restful days! I can watch all my DVR'd shows, get laundry done, eat a leisurely lunch, and Ellie gets to play with all the toys without Grayson snatching them away from her. But we are ready to pick up brother by 3:00, life is just not as interesting without him during the day.

I have also started working more days a week, Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am working at the Waxing Studio in San Marcos. As you can tell from the title, I am doing mainly waxes all day - the majority being bikini, brazilian, and eyebrow. I like waxing a lot, it is not as draining as facials are on your energy - but you do have to hustle more to make more money as they are not as expensive as facials. For those of you that are uninitiated in the spa world, most places pay estheticians a commission on the service, usually ranging from 30 to 50 percent. So don't forget to tip your esthetician, please! Of course, only if you were satisfied with the service. I am trying my best to be as speedy as they want you to be at the Waxing Studio, and that has been a learning process. I am of the mindset that slow and careful waxing is the best for the skin, so I am learning to combine my techniques with the "quickness" that the Studio is known for. Every new job is a learning opportunity, I guess!

Grayson and Ellie have gone to a babysitter's for the first time ever when I am working during the week. This is a big adjustment for Mommy and the kids. The babysitter is a sweet, caring lady, but it was still super hard to drop them off last Thursday. We are still working out scheduling kinks, and any wrench in my schedule gives me panic attacks. Bret forgot to pick up the container I make Ellie's milk in on Thursday and I have been panicking without it for three days! I like to make all the milk every morning, OK? He thought I was acting crazy (maybe so), but I am definitely borderline OCD, I admit it, and I need things to be - JUST - SO! :)

I am still working Saturdays at Cathleen and Company in Kyle. I wish I was a bit busier, but it has been picking up lately. Come see me there for everything - facials, waxing, and makeup application. Of course, they are also a full service salon and some great gals can do your hair and nails too.

As you know from my previous post, I have started cloth diapering Ellie-bean! And we both love it! I will post an update later about my favorite products so far that I've tried.

I found a dress for my upcoming high school reunion, the first weekend in October. This was no mean feat with two little kids in tow at La Cantera. Our shopping outing last weekend included: screaming fit in Nordstrom, more fits in Macy's, a first-time ever on the go cloth diaper change, a COACH purse (that I've longed for years and treasure highly) left in the bathroom at Macy's, a hurried rush from Dillard's to Macy's upon discovering purse was left, purse found in Macy's customer service, all cash and credit cards intact!, finding Bret a shirt and sportcoat, finally finding my dress, attempting to find appropriate undergarments (a.k.a. "sausage wraps" as my husband so delightfully calls them), and aborting that mission amidst more fits and calling it a day. (Just to clarify, the person(s) throwing the fits was Grayson for multiple offenses and Ellie for one offense) I still have to find hosiery and shoes. Why is it so difficult for women to put together a new outfit? Granted, my clothes for the last two years have been a combination of maternity clothes and larger-than-normal casual stay at home mommy clothes, so that is probably why I have to purchase everything from the ground up to look nice in front of my old high school friends. Anyway, I am looking forward to the reunion and to visiting my family at that time, because October 1st is Ellie's first birthday! My sweet girl.

Well, those have been the happenings for the last few weeks - I'm hoping to post a beauty related article soon, remember how I wanted that to be my focus? Family life and stories just crowd out everything else!

Cloth Diaper Revolution

I have recently decided to make the switch from disposable diapers to cloth for Ellie. This is something I wanted to do before she was born, but could not persuade Bret to accept the up-front cost. Back then I wanted to buy the whole she-bang at once, an arsenal of cloth diapers. This is probably because I was in "nesting" mode. But now, after much begging and cost comparison, I finally convinced him to let me get enough cloth diapers to get started and we can buy more along the way.

Why switch now, you ask? I've already spent 3 years with Grayson in disposables (by the way, I also broached the subject with him and was talked out of it then, too - I've finally prevailed!), and Ellie is nearly a year old. Well, here are my very good reasons -

I probably still spend 60-80 dollars a month on diapers. If Ellie is potty trained when she is two and a half, that will be 1400 more dollars sitting in the trashcan.

I try very hard to save money where I can - as a mostly stay-at-home mom, I think this IS my job. I clip coupons, buy everything on sale, shop the clearance racks, and plan meals two weeks out. So this seemed a logical step to further save money that we could use somewhere else - like to maybe go out once in a while and get some time away from our little darlings!

I try to be earth conscious and do the steps that I can to reduce my impact on the earth - I recycle everything I can, use cloth bags at the store, conserve water, and use energy-efficient everything. I can't afford expensive things like solar panels and water heaters, so this is something that I can do. Disposable diapers sit in a landfill for hundreds of years (not exaggeration) and ONE baby can contribute 2,000 pounds of diapers to the heap over its diaper years. I read an article about the "swirling garbage island" of plastic trash in the Pacific Ocean that is TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS. Not to sound preachy, but we as a species have irreparably damaged our earth and I feel guilty about it.

So, order away I did at http://www.cottonbabies.com/ - a fantastic website that is super informative and priced really well. Here is what I ordered:

A Try it Kit that included 6 prefold diapers (this is what you think of when you think "cloth diaper" - the flat piece of fabric that you pin together), two covers, a Snappi to secure the diapers. This is the most economical way to cloth diaper, but not the easiest.
Two bumGenius 3.0 pocket diapers - the new vanguard of cloth diapers, these have an insert that you change and an absorbent lining sewn in
One "repairable" bumGenius - a second I bought for less than half the price that only needed a small seam repaired. If you are handy with sewing, I definitely recommend this to save money and build your supply.
2 packs of cloth wipes - going all in here, I told you!
Extra prefold diapers and extra inserts for the pocket diapers
A wetbag to take in the diaper bag - the small size I ordered is too small so I will be exchanging it
All this cost me $135, which sounds like a lot of money, but it really isn't when you consider this is only a month and a half of disposables

Then I had to conduct the search for the right detergent. This is MUCH more important than I would have imagined. Detergents with softeners and additives can ruin the absorbency of your diapers. "Country Save" detergent was the most recommended on ALL the websites, so I looked high and low for it. Whole Foods in San Antonio, two health stores in New Braunfels, Amazon.com, and I finally found it at the Little Shoppe of Health in San Marcos, right next door to my new work. Is that fate or what?

Also you cannot use regular rash cream with the diapers because they leave a coating on them that makes them not absorb - so I found an all natural one I liked (beware of some of the natural ones that include fragrant oils, those are not good for any one's skin)

OKAY - after much preparation, they arrived in the mail yesterday! After washing them to get them ready, I strapped a prefold on Ellie and used the Bummis Whisper Wrap cover. Awesome! It is bulkier than a regular diaper, but soft and comfortable for her. Last night I used a bumGenius pocket diaper with an insert and a "doubler", which is basically just a smaller additional insert. No leaks at all this morning!

While we are at home, I plan to use the prefolds and covers, so that is what I did today. All went well, the cover lasted through three diaper changes until a poop happened. The poop was contained, but it did get on the cover a little bit, so it went in the pail. She wore the pockets the rest of the day, one pocket diaper that I changed the insert several times. I wiped the poop off into the toilet - something I'm used to because I regularly dump Grayson's poop out of his little potties. I did rinse the pooped prefold in the sink before I dumped it in the pail. While it seems like I purchased a lot, I am doing a load of diapers in the wash as we speak. But that seems right because I basically only have four "diapers" right now.

I know I'm a weirdo, but I actually like doing the wash if it's baby clothes. I love folding them and matching the outfits, and her cutely colored cloth diapers are just an extension of that.

I love them so far, and the only thing I wish is that I could have ordered more at a time. Here is what I will order next:

Cloth Diaper pail liner - the garbage bag I have now is just not working for me.
More pockets and a few more covers, along with more inserts.

I am still figuring out how to do the cloth wipes. I am now just using them with water in my plastic wipes tubs (of which I have about a thousand laying around), but I read that that can be too drying. Which is true, water evaporating on the skin will dry it out. So I think tomorrow I will try a dash of baby soap and baby oil (preferably unscented) in the water and see if that feels more "moisturizing".

I hope I've inspired you somewhat - it's never too late to save money and the environment! Let me know your thoughts or questions and I will keep you posted!

I Dig the Duggars

I have just read that the Duggars are expecting their 19th child, according to Today online. If you do not have cable television, the Duggars are an Arkansas family that have their own TLC show based upon the amazing fact that they have 18 biological children. All of these children are the offspring of JimBob and Michelle Duggar - and she gave birth to all of them! Yikes!

The Duggars constantly have detractors in the media, people who usually say one of the following things -
The Duggars are religious freaks who need to use birth control, they are a strain on the overpopulated planet, they don't take care of their children properly, they are weirdos, the children are robots, etc. etc. etc.

Well, the Duggars are not cut of the same cloth as "Jon and Kate plus Eight" - there are no salacious scandals and paparazzi shots of JimBob Duggar canoodling with a coke-sniffing mistress. This is a geniunely good, wholesome, family who really have it together in many ways. I admire the following things about the Duggar brood:

Their religious views, while somewhat purist for my tastes, are believed and upheld. I am not particularly religious - I believe it's okay to be who you want to be, I believe in evolution, and sex before marriage, to name a few things. But the Duggars don't, and that's o.k. They are not hypocrites, and they definitely get the core values of Christian charity and love for others right. So let them believe what they want to - this is America after all!

I think it's O.K. that the older children have responsibilities and take care of younger ones. I took care of my (13 years younger) brother quite a bit. Making them do chores and help with the family prepares them for REAL life. These kids do not leave their clothes all over the floor, dishes on the table, towels in the tub, and expect $40 bucks to go the mall. (some of these are crimes of the aforementioned little brother)

The Duggars try to be "green" even though their huge motor bus gets 6 MPG. They make their own soap, grow a lot of their vegetables, and reuse everything. They get their clothes from thrift stores (so the show says), do their own haircuts, and many more things. I hope to GOD they recycle and use cloth diapers because the trash alone would fill a landfill! But we should all try to be so thrifty and waste less.

I like that the girls have long hair and wear modest clothes. Skirts all the time is a bit much, but I cringe when I see an 11 year old walk through the mall with her butt cheeks hanging out and a pound of makeup on her face. And I swear, some outfits I've looked at for Ellie have infant crop tops and hot pants. I'm not kidding.

The Duggar kids don't watch much television, and that could be good. Grayson mostly watches preschool shows and movies, but he has picked up enough "grown up" TV to know how swear words are used and to "shoot" at us all the time even though he has not a single toy gun. Hmmmmm....maybe TV does rot our brain and ruin the children.

A little healthy fear can go a long way for a kid. Some people have said that the Duggar kids act well behaved most of the time because the parents have taught them to be afraid of God. I don't really believe this is the case. I was "afraid" of misbehaving when I was little because I didn't want God and my mother to be mad at me. I tell you, Grayson is not afraid of either one! How can I make him fear me just a little bit?

I think Michelle should have as many babies as she wants. The Duggars take care of all of their children financially. They are not asking for handouts or welfare and have worked hard I'm sure to live the debt-free life they show on TV. In this age of modern medicine, she can successfully have so many pregnancies. They are not morally opposed to birth control, they have stated that she used it at the beginning of their marriage and decided to then have as "many children as God blessed them with". So that is her choice. This situation is not akin to the polygamist Mormon situations where a mother is to be "worn out in childbirth", having twenty (yes, I have read of twenty) children that a part-time patriarch cannot afford to take care of, and no real access to quality medical care. Michelle has her children in a hospital, and she seems healthy and fine to her doctor on the show. If I could afford it, I'd like to have a couple more babies myself!

One of the things I don't like is the emphasis on the girls to grow up and be good housewives. These girls, while definitely self-sufficient, should be encouraged to follow their dreams. But on the other side, the Duggars are very pragmatic and the children know they will have to grow up and work hard. I cannot say the same for a lot of young people I know who think they are going to grow up and automatically make 200,000 dollars a year.

I'm also not that keen on the homeschooling that Michelle gives all the kids. I am a firm believer in the public school system and the power of secular teaching. As a child I went to both a Christian private school and a public school, and while the children were generally sweeter at the private school, the curriculum was much more stimulating, educational, and challenging in the public schools. Plus, I was not as scared that God would smite me if I talked in class. Just kidding!

I'm also a little wary of the rules on dating. Apparently, there is no kissing (and most definitely no anything else) before MARRIAGE. I think it takes a little more than a shared attraction and mutual faith to make a lasting, happy, marriage. But at least they get to (sort of) date - a chaperone is present at all times. Also, a healthy sexual drive is part of being an adolescent and young adult. But I guess if you get married when you're 20 that's not so much you're missing out on! I can say that when I got married, I had regrets about some of those frogs I kissed (and sometimes more than kissed) before I found my husband. But maybe those actions led me to him? Or made me aware and ready when I found my life partner? I guess it would have been neat to experience all the wonderful things about a sexual relationship for the first time with my husband, but that is a lofty goal. And I also bet none of the Duggar kids will wait until they are 25 and 31 to get married like we did! Wink, wink!

So to sum up, go, Duggars, go! Have as many kids as you want. I can't wait to see how many grandkids come out of this bunch.

Ten things...

The lovely Mrs. Sarah Reed (www.thereedsintexas.blogspot.com) tagged me in her heartfelt blog to write ten things you may not know about me. In keeping with the theme of my mommy beauty blog, I will dedicate half to beauty-related "things" and half to mommy-related "things":

1. After all the research I've done and products I've tried, I still have not found the PERFECT skin care products that make me look flawless and pore-less. I know the reason for this is that there is NO perfect product, and that some problems with our skin are inherent and inherited. I do think I've found some of the best, most inexpensive products so far in Paula's Choice (www.paulaschoice.com) These are definitely worth a try because you can sample everything prior to buying. I was a skeptic of Paula's Choice before (she is the author of several books that I love, including "Don't Go to the Cosmetic Counter without me") because she focuses on the ingredients only for her reviews. Of course, no single person can use every retail product out there and review it, but sometimes you have to use something for several weeks to determine its efficacy on your skin. However, I am a convert to Paula's choice products so far. Will keep you updated, readers.

2. I find myself wanting to simply my beauty routine lately. So, I have taken off my toenail polish for now (my toes haven't gone without polish since I was probably 15) and I am growing out my leg hair for a week so I can wax it. Both of these things are not endearing me to my husband right now. Heehee!

3. I can spend literally an hour sometimes looking in the magnifying mirror and picking and squeezing (something I tell clients NOT to do as it leads to picking and squeezing). I am obsessed with eradicating blackheads and annihilating built up oil. This is not good for me, and I wish I could follow my own "hands-off" advice, but I can't. I'm addicted.

4. Speaking of addicted, I am heavily addicted to magazines. I have just renewed some subscriptions and I will soon be receiving Marie Claire, Lucky, Glamour, Ladies Home Journal, Oprah, and People each month. Yikes! I justify it by saying I need the first three to keep up with beauty trends, etc. but also I looooovvvvveeee to crack open that cover after plucking it from the mailbox and looking at all the glossy ads and pictures and reading about Brangelina and various other topics. Aaaaaaahhh, I love magazines. Oh yes, I also get a trade magazine for estheticians, but that was free. So there. And I reuse, and recycle.

5. Last beauty related "thing": I was in a car accident when I was four years old. In Oklahoma, someone hit my mother and I on an icy road and then ran. Due to the crappy car seats that existed in 1984, my face went through the side window. I had over 200 stitches and several weeks in the hospital, then subsequent plastic surgeries over the next couple of years. I feel like I was a beautiful baby before that happened. The awful thing about a facial scar is that you can never hide it if you want to, you always have to answer the question "What happened to your face?". That single awful moment in my life has led to several bouts with minor depression, shyness, and a lack of self confidence that goes so deep into my psyche, I'm not really aware of it most times, it just manifests itself as part of my personality. The scar has faded over the years, but is still very visible. I know that some types of surgery can further minimize it, but I feel as if I've already had enough. I also feel as if it's "me". I've learned to not feel wounded when people ask about it anymore. I've also learned that if someone (Hubby) thinks I'm beautiful, I must really be to them. Beauty, as we all know, is in the eye of the beholder. So I'm glad I've found a few "beholders" in my life to appreciate the way I look.

6. "Mother" related things beginning now: Some days I think I am a great mother, and some days I think I am the worst mother that ever lived. If you already are a mother, I'm sure you know how this feels. And if you are going to be one someday, just wait. You too will feel like this.


7. I love when people exclaim over how cute Ellie is. I eat it up. I love that strangers tell me how cute and pretty she is and I just glow with pride. She is cute as a button, after all. When I go somewhere, like the store, I will dress her in a cute outfit and fix her hair in the hopes of stranger exclamation. Please don't judge me, in 12 years she will be slamming the door in my face and making me buy her whatever ugly trend is in fashion then.






8. Sometimes I drive myself crazy with thinking about horrible things that could happen to my children and will just sob with the thought of the tragedy. And I will also cry when I think about them growing up. And not needing me anymore. And leaving me someday. And now I feel like I could cry again!


9. I am not impressed with my body right now. It is a much rounder shape than I would like, and I hate having to suck my stomach in all the time and buy jeans that flatten it down. I really, really hope and pray that my body goes back to a sexy shape. However, I want all this accomplished without exercise. I do not like to exercise. I think it is work. I couldn't imagine a more hellish way to spend a half hour than to jog down the street in the sweltering Texas sun. There are some things I like doing (aerobics, swimming, yoga) but time and or money is always an issue. So with my no fail workout plan of dancing around the house, cleaning, swimming once a week, biking once a week, and eating ice cream some nights at 10:00, I hope to get some semblance of a pre-baby body back. Someone help me!

This is why I am in a round shape, guys. (A good reason, at least)

10. I never really knew how much I wanted children until I had them (until I got pregnant). I always thought I was too introspective and semi-selfish to give all I had to a child. Different things from my childhood made it hard to give affection and open up the way I needed to. But after I held my children for the first time, I knew I would do anything to make sure they were loved. I kiss them a thousand times a day, and tell them I love them every chance I get. My little joys (and troubles, sometimes) have made me into a completely different version of myself. And a better one.

Hairy Situations

My back is killing me tonight because I did a 3-hour body waxing on a client this morning. While I really do love waxing, and I love making people feel better about themselves, I have to say that I do not understand some women's absolute revulsion about their own body hair!

First, I will confess about myself, because, truthfully, I'm not a lot better than some hair-haters: I am a compulsive, every-day leg shaver. The bottom half I shave EVERY day, winter or summer, and the top half, every 2-3 days religiously. If I didn't get the most horrible underarm reactions, I would shave there every day too. I had a fraught relationship with my bikini area filled with shaving irritations, ingrown hairs from waxing, and near-gymnastic moves to do my own bikini waxes on a regular basis. Two and a half months ago, I decided to do laser-hair removal which has been, next to marrying my husband, the best decision I ever made in my life! Two treatments into it and I am a hairless goddess you-know-where. I will make a disclaimer and say that I have fair skin and dark hair, which I'm told lends to the best results.

While I don't mind parting with my own leg, underarm, and the majority of my bikini hair (I do like some to hang around, mind you), I could care less about my relatively hairy arms, upper lip and thick eyebrows.

Here are my "expert" hair removal recommendations that won't kill you pain- and money-wise:

Face: eyebrow waxing / shaping every six to eight weeks from a pro - if you go to a great person, you won't have to worry about brows that are too thin; lip waxing every few months if it's blonde, more often if it's darker (or you can bleach) I've also read that Vaniqa really works but it is pricey; please don't wax your entire face - the vellus hair loses some of its softness and unless you have a real need (such as growing back after chemo, sometimes it's thick) don't start waxing your whole face.

Body: do what works for you - if you can handle shaving, it's the cheapest way to remove hair. Use a good shave cream every time and a fresh razor every week or so, and moisturize after your shower. Waxing is great for summer, you get longer time before regrowth happens and a cleaner look for your bikini area. I can also wax off that "underbutt" hair that is so hard to shave! I don't really recommend depilitories because they can be so caustic to your skin and you can easily give yourself a chemical burn. If you do start waxing, book a series of appointments every six weeks - the pain will be less each time and the hair will grow back softer. Also be prepared to deal with ingrowns - they are more prevalent with waxing because the hair is finer and has a hard time pushing through skin. I have had good results with both PFB Vanish treatment and TendSkin, but I had to use them religiously every day after waxing.

Back to my original tangent: I get clients all the time who want every last piece of hair gone from various body areas. Sometimes I even try to talk them out of it- like all the hair on the arms gone, or face. I've had clients who think they are "gross" or "hairier than everybody else" or "man-like". THAT IS NOT TRUE! We are all mammals, and we all have hair! That is one of the pre-requisites to joining the mammalia club! I don't like it when anybody I know or work with thinks they are gross or ugly in some way. It makes me sad for them because I can see from the outside how flawed their perception of their own body is. When I was waxing my client I complimented her on her petite little arms, and she wouldn't even take the compliment! I know I have done this myself many times and I vow here and now to stop and just say "Thank you" when someone tells me something good.

LADIES- You are not gross! So what if a hair is peeking out here or there, or if your legs are stubbly for a day or two? Why are we as a society so obsessed with perfection? It is not attainable - the best beauty pursuit is to feel as GOOD about yourself as you possibly can. I believe women feel self-conscious about their bodies because we usually see so little "real" naked women in our lifetimes. I do - all the time - and I know I'm no hairier or lumpier or bumpier than anyone else. We always see airbrushed, waxed, spray-tanned, made-up, and augmented women instead of our real counterparts.

An awesome website: www.theshapeofamother.com
While it focuses mainly on pregnancy photos, a lot are postpartum and these ladies are REAL and they are not afraid to show you what real boobs, butts, and stomachs look like (hairy or not)

Is there "More to Love"?

After the end of "The Bachelorette" last night, I need to fill the reality-show void that is Tuesday night. So, I decided to watch the new show "More to Love". In case you haven't seen the previews, the premise is a larger than life bachelor will have his pick of 20 big, beautiful women. This idea makes me indignant to the point that I must tune in! After watching the show, I decided to share my thoughts on the good and bad:

Good:

Only one hour long. It is excruciating to sit through two hours of The Bachelor and Bachelorette without the DVR due to the empty conversations and even emptier heads.

Gorgeous diamond rings are given out instead of cheesy roses.

The women do for the most point seem to have some substance, although all the ones our BBB (Big beautiful bachelor) asked for a kiss caved immediately. Hold something back ladies! Yes, this "relationship" is moving at warp speed, but you don't have to give all the goodies out tonight.

Requisite drunken Bachelor behavior, a la evening gown pool diving, name calling ( I guess "otter" is a name), and drinking just a wee bit too much. Oh, and cheesy attention getting stunts, like dancing lessons. Although, no singing, which is a big plus.

Now for the questionable:

Why, oh why, do they have to show everyone's height and weight next to their name at all times? We get that the ladies are large. We get it. These poor girls have put themselves WAY out there on reality t.v., can you cut them a break?

The BBB is kind of smarmy, like he can't believe his luck that these BBW's (Big beautiful women) are actually fawning all over him.

The girls have NO self-esteem. None. Not even a smidgen. Even the ones that proclaim they do say things like, "I've never had a relationship" "This is my last chance for love" etc. These girls are pretty! They have jobs. They have (some) brains. This is not the last chance for love. They need to bring 19 other BBB's on board and get these ladies some dates.

75% of the women cried in their intros. This made me feel so bad for them, that it was excruciating when some were sent home.

To sum up, if a show wants to really be realistic, they should have one average size bachelor with women of all shapes and sizes. That would really be something. I truly believe women are beautiful in all forms, and the skinny, big-boob ideal that prevails in Hollywood only exists to make the rest of us feel bad about ourselves on a daily basis. BUT, I think it is slightly misogynistic and mean to parade these women as sad sacks with their weights next to their name. Maybe it will get better...

My first baby

My little boy turned three yesterday...which has me more than a little sad. Instead of pacifiers and diapers, now everywhere I turn there are trains, matchbox cars, Disney movies, and a whole new three-year old attitude.

Three years ago...
My husband and I had only been married six months (do the math, it was a "shotgun" wedding as they say here in Texas) and were very scared at how our lives were changing so rapidly. We went from dating to parenthood in what now seems like the blink of an eye. The baby was a week overdue, and my mood was pretty grouchy as a consequence of that. The doctors scheduled me to be induced the next morning, which I was vehemently against but felt like there was no other option. That night we went to The River Pub and Grill in San Marcos to eat, and on the way home, I felt like I had eaten too many fish tacos! Later that night, I decided that yes, I was really in labor, and it was getting worse all the time. Bret drove quick as lightning up to Austin, where my hospital was, (45 minutes away), but it was NOT quick enough for me. When we arrived, after 1 in the morning, they found out I was already 7 centimeters dilated. For those of you who haven't given birth, that meant only 3 more centimeters to go. I FINALLY got an epidural, only to have to push 10 minutes later. 3 hours later, after a lot of work, Grayson arrived in the world. I will never forget what it was like to hold my son in my arms, who only moments before, was completely part of me. I was so scared, I couldn't even change his first diaper. He was so small and perfect, and mine, and I felt a shift in my entire being that changed the way thought, loved, and existed. I love my family, I love my husband, but the instant he was born, I knew that I would give my life for my son.

It seems like the last three years have gone by too quickly. I try not to get upset that my babies are growing up and independent faster than I want them to, and instead try to cherish each new step and accomplishment they make. Memories of the last three years whirl through my head when I look at my Grayson...
grabbing his toes and sucking on them at 5 months, saying dada first, snuggling with him at my breast, sleeping on daddy's chest, crawling around the island in the kitchen, calling for me from his crib, singing "Beautiful boy" to him every night as he went to sleep, walking, then running, 1 to 2 going by in a flash, now he is a preschooler, who will go to school in two short years. I'm so glad that he's mine.

Post-Nursing Depression!

Well, after nine months of exclusively nursing Eleanor, she is ready to stop! She, not necessarily me! I would happily go on to the year mark, but she is only nursing a few minutes at a time, then gets distracted, then is hungry later. So, I think it is time to wean. This process is making me hormonal, emotional, and a wee bit depressed. Actually, really depressed. This (most likely) will be my last baby, and the special bond that we have together is coming to an end. I feel proud and lucky that I did get to nurse her this long, and if you have tried breastfeeding, you know it is not always easy.



I wanted to share several things that made nursing her easier and more comfortable. Maybe I can help moms-to-be or future mommies out! Lord, don't we need all the help we can get!

1. Boppy pillow: you must have this. I don't know how women have nursed babies through eons of time without this pillow.
2. Soothies: they may give you these in the hospital, but if not you can purchase them at CVS. They are gel pads that help you get over the initial soreness. They are miracles!
3. Lansinoh Lanolin: I used this about a month before the baby was born to "condition" and after for several months every time I took a shower.
4. Bravado nursing bras: This is the best $45 I've ever spent! They have support, but no underwire (which is a no-no for nursing because it can constrict milk ducts), light shaping pads that are removable, easy-to-do clasps and cups that come all the way away from the breast for easy feeding. I bought two and they blew every other bra I had out of the water! They are available at maternity specialty stores, but also at Target.com.
5. Medela Electric Double Breast pump: There are a couple of styles, but I bought the freestyle pump. This thing is magic. It allows you to pump all the milk you need to, no problem. If I had been working full time, I still would have breastfed because I had this marvelous pump. It helped me through engorgement, working part time, and any time I had to be away from the baby at all. A suggestion: if you purchase any pump, purchase one through your hospital's lactation department instead of a chain store. You will not only support a much needed service, but if you have any problems at all they can give you customer support, which a retail store can't.

A few words of advice concerning breastfeeding:

It is MUCH harder at the start than you could ever imagine. Try not to get discouraged. Even if you plan to go back to work right away, you can breastfeed in some capacity, even if you have to supplement with formula. If you "power through" the first few weeks, it will become infinitely easier. The first six weeks are full of engorgement, leaking milk, erratic schedules, tears on both sides, and definitely sleepless nights. Not a lot of fun, but if you make it past that, it gets so MUCH easier. After a few months, 3-4, your breasts do not fluctuate as much, you don't have to wear breast pads anymore, and your life approximates normal once again. Also, if breastfeeding doesn't work, or you can't do it anymore, don't feel guilty. As long as you gave it a chance, your baby will still get the nourishment they need from formula just fine.

I cry a lot because I will miss my baby snuggling up next to me (and probably because my hormones are out of whack right now, too). I feel like I'm giving up something precious, but I guess all babies have to "grow up" sometime. I wish they didn't do it so fast, though.

Skinceuticals back online!

If you read my previous post, I stated that you couldn't buy Skinceuticals online anymore. Well, they are back! On www.dermstore.com, I found out today. Yippee!

Better Skin Part 1: Cleansing, or All Hail the Clarisonic!

Every month I get numerous magazines, from Glamour to Allure, to trade magazines that all contain articles on how to have great skin.

This is the first in a series of posts on my tips for better skin, compiled from a bevy of sources - professional, personal, literature, and good old trial and error!

Cleansing

Thoroughly removing your makeup and preparing it for skin care products is the most important step. You will not believe how many people I see who are not cleansing their skin optimally!

First, the method:
At the very least, use a washcloth to remove your makeup and cleanser. If you just splash your face, you are only pushing debris and makeup to the outside edges of your face. A washcloth, ideally a baby washcloth, is an absolute must. If you are acne prone, use a separate towel for your face from your hand towel. Imagine the bacteria that collects on a hand towel!
Studies have shown that the average woman cleanses her face for 20 seconds a DAY. This is not nearly enough to remove the makeup, oil, sweat, and environmental pollutants that have accumulated on your skin for the last 12 + hours.
Work the cleanser into your skin for at least 1 minute, allow to sit for 10-15 seconds, then rinse. This allows the cleanser to fully emulsify the makeup you are wearing.
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT use an overly abrasive cleanser or item to cleanse your face. No Buf-Pufs, please! These only cause microscopic tears in your epidermis, which not only allow bacteria to grow, but also lead to inflammation, broken capillaries, and over-sensitized skin. A client once told me she used the GREEN SCRUBBERS THAT YOU USE ON DISHES to cleanse her face! NOT recommended!
I DO recommend the Clarisonic skin care brush. This is the best gift I have ever received, I mean it ranks right up there with my engagement ring in terms of how much I love it! While expensive, you will use it everyday without fail! The Clarisonic uses sonic technology to vibrate the brush, instead of the old-fashioned rotary kind that turn. The Clarisonic actually vibrates every last molecule of makeup off! This has revolutionized cleansing. I only thought I was washing my face before. I have used it for over a year and a half now, and I have a dramatic reduction in breakouts and blackheads. I use it once a day, to remove my makeup at night.
But, if you can't fork out the $195 right now, please go buy a $3 pack of baby washcloths for me.

Second, the means of cleansing:
A good cleanser is truly hard to find. My requirements are:

1. Gentle, not stripping. Your face should feel soft, not tight or itchy after cleansing.
2. Free of any abrasive materials, such as nut pieces, etc. No St. Ives Apricot Scrub! This will also cause microscopic tears in your epidermis. I do like and appreciate several exfoliants, which I will discuss in a later post.
3. Ideally free of superfluous fragrance and some counter-irritants, like peppermint or menthol.
4. In most cases, have no benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid, or pricey ingredients. These things just get washed down the sink, and are not in contact with your skin long enough to have any effect!

I have found that exceptional cleansers transcend skin type, i.e. they should suit normal to oily types. However, super sensitive and extra-dry types will benefit from a formula suited to them.

Here are my favorite cleansers that I have tried and used with success:

• La Roche Posay Toleriane Purifying Foaming Creme Cleanser (whew, that's a mouthful!): This is the BEST cleanser that I have ever used, it completely melts away makeup and is great for normal, combination or oily types, even sensitive. $18-20, it is mainly found online, at dermstore.com or drugstore.com
• CeraVe Cleanser: Best for normal/dry types. Has a moisturizing ingredient that stays behind after the cleanser is washed off. I have only found this at CVS.
• Cetaphil cleanser: Best for sensitive types, who do not wear a lot of makeup. This will not remove makeup to my satisfaction, but if you are a natural girl, this is a good one. At all drugstores.
• A-Cute Derm Pro-C gel cleanser: perfect for normal to oily, removes makeup well. While it does include antioxidants, the price point is so reasonable, it's not a big deal. Tell me if you'd like to try it!
• Skinceuticals Clarifying cleanser: this does have a small amount of salicylic acid included, but the main reason I like it is because it cleans without stripping, which is rare for a blemish-targeted cleanser. Recommended only if you have active breakouts. You can't buy Skinceuticals online anymore, which is a bummer, but several spas and dermatologists carry it.
• A goodie that's cheapie: pHisoDerm Deep Cleaning cleanser (for normal and sensitive types): This is usually under $5!!! but it is tricky to find - recently I found it at HEB, and they actually had pHisoDerm for babies in the baby aisle. This is an awesome product if your little one gets dry patches, eczema, or baby acne.

The bottom line here: gentle, thorough makeup removal is the MOST important step if you want clear, smooth skin.

My daily cleansing routine goes like this:

A.M. Eminence Sweet Red Rose Cleanser (not mentioned above because it does have essential oils, so this is a personal fave, not one I'd recommend to all of you)

P.M. A-Cute Derm makeup removal pads first, then A-Cute Derm Pro-C cleanser or CeraVe coupled with my Clarisonic. Sometimes I use the A-Cute Derm cleansing lotion in between those steps, and I love using the La Roche Posay when I can afford it!

Swim Lessons + Misbehaving Toddler = Embarrassment

I find that when I go out in public with my children, I am in a constant state of mild embarrassment, which sometimes escalates into full on shame. It is not that I don't love my children, or that I'm not extremely proud of them, (which I do and I am), it's that my toddler loves to push my buttons for all the world to see.

Please view suspect at left.

Case #1: Today. Swimming Lessons. Mr. Andrew (teacher) takes one child off of the underwater platform at a time to teach, while the other 5 play with toys and swim. In thirty minutes, Grayson manages to: constantly throw the toys into the deeper water so Mr. Andrew has to get them, gets mad and throws the diving ring into the innocent audience of parents watching their well-behaved children (twice), refuses to come out when I tell him, scoots juuuussst out of my reach in the water so I can't nab him and yank him out, and gets into a skirmish with another boy over a diving ring that involves pushing and grabbing. All the while I am mortified and under the watchful stares of other parents. After the lesson I talk with him and he apologizes to both Mr. Andrew and the diving ring boy. The boys hug and all is well, but my face is still red and not only from the 100 degree heat.

Case #2: Several weeks ago. Shopping. Victoria's Secret dressing room. Hushed and quiet as innocent shoppers try on various undergarments. Me trying on a bra. Grayson continuously trying to open the door so everyone can view his half-naked mother, and also trying to push the call button non-stop. I yank him down back into the stroller none too gently, to which he responds, "DON'T SQUEEZE ME LIKE THAT!" at the top of his lungs. Then in a silent, shame-filled fury, I tap his mouth and tell him to be quiet. "DON'T SMACK ME LIKE THAT!" at a thundering decibel range. Exit quickly, no bras purchased. Then, twenty minutes later, he throws up all over the table in the food court.

I love my son. And I also know it's only a matter of time before my angelic baby daughter starts a whole new round of embarrassing outings!

Look for Case #3: McDonald's play land potty accident / subsequent streaking in another post!

Mineral Foundation Musings During Naptime

Naptime is a most sacred time of day, perhaps the only hour- to two-hour long stretch where my thoughts are uninterrupted. I choose to take this time and ponder the ubiquitous mineral makeup craze...

I have decided, after 15 years of wearing makeup, that I am a true mineral-makeup convert. Quality mineral makeup can have great benefits for your skin -

1. Breathable coverage - very important if your skin produces any oil at all during the day
2. Less settling into pores - the nature of the powder allows it to sit on top of pores instead of pooling in them like a liquid foundation
3. Less contact with parabens, talc, and other undesirable cosmetic ingredients - however, beware the drugstore "mineral" makeup as they almost always contain talc. (The only exception I have found is Neutrogena)
4. Zinc oxide is a very effective ingredient for blemish prone skin types
5. The sunscreen is a definite bonus

There are some caveats I must include for those not familiar with mineral makeup, however...

1. If you have combination or oily skin, you must, must use some sort of primer before you apply the powder. I have religiously used three: Laura Mercier Oil-Free Primer, Per-fekt Gel and Tarte Clean Slate. I felt the Laura Mercier primer was more akin to a light moisturizer and did not have that "smoothing" feeling that I want in a primer. As it was fairly expensive, I would advise you to pass on it. Per-fekt Skin Perfection Gel is wonderful and also includes much-needed antioxidants, but it is on the pricey side as well and I like it more when I'm feeling dry or need to wear makeup for a special occasion. Tarte Clean Slate is my current favorite, it has the silicone (dimethicone) needed to smooth, is a fairly natural product, and rings up at the lowest price point of the three.
2. It will take some practice to get the application technique right. If you've seen the "swirl, tap, and buff" infomercials, do not be fooled! It is not that easy! The best tricks I've learned so far: Pour a small amount of product in the lid, then swirl your brush around until the product disappears into the brush, then lightly move the brush in circles around your face, beginning with the areas that need the most coverage. BUILD coverage as you need it, do not dump a lot of product into the brush at once. It is very easy to overdo it with loose powder makeup. Also, the better quality brush you use, the better results you'll have.
3. These products will not solve your skin care woes as the advertising claims. Makeup is makeup. You must wash it off completely at night (no such thing as so pure you're able to sleep in it, believe me), and you do have to use concealer for persistent blemishes and undereye circles.

I have used the following mineral foundations:

Neutrogena: The messy application brush included did nothing to make me love this product.

GloMinerals: This is the makeup line of the Glo Skincare Company, which is in the Cellex-C family (Caleel Hayden). I found the makeup to be pricey and to have too much of the "chalky" appearance that looks unnatural. The only benefit to this line is that the foundation comes in pressed and loose forms.

Laura Mercier: Very good, probably the best of the department store brands. You receive a generous amount, but you do pay for it. The colors are awesome for fair to medium skin, but forget it if you are darker.

Clinique Almost Makeup SPF 15 powder: This was advertised as better than minerals, but I found it to be just another pressed powder, pretty standard Clinique fare. I also found the color matching to be difficult. It did not convert me back to Clinique by any means.

Bare Minerals by Bare Escentuals: This is my #2 pick. The shade range is great, the only quibble I have is that they tend to be shiny, due to the amount of mica that is included in the ingredients. HOWEVER, they are soon coming out with a BE Matte line which sounds promising!

Jane Iredale Amazing Base Loose Powder: This is my #1. Beautifully skin-matching shades, and I love, love, love the other cosmetic products they have to offer as well. My only gripe is that the price points are high, nearly twice Bare Minerals.

Bottom line: In this economy, I think I will go back to Bare Minerals for awhile. At $25 for a 3-6 month supply of foundation, it really is reasonable. I'm sure my hardworking husband will appreciate that!

With two small children, I'm lucky I get five minutes each morning to do my makeup. If I do get the chance, it makes me feel so much better about myself all day, even if the only people dazzled by my glamour are 9 months old, 3 years old, and of the feline and canine species. (And oh, yes, my wonderful husband!)

Last note: No makeup, liquid or powder, will give you sufficient sunscreen throughout these Texas summers! Please use a moisturizer that has sunscreen (I like Eminence Tomato Sun Cream, A-cute Derm SPF 20, or Skinceuticals Physical SPF 30 for swimming days)